Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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