Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
