We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
