making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
