I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
