she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
