Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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