Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
