I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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