he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
