Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
