if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
