somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
