am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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