You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
