I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
