He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
