if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
That reminds me...we need to get swords
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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