he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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