at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Found your dick twin last night
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize