The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
