it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
