Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
