Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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