At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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