her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
