Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
