I must be too annoying 4 u.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize