Sry I called you an 8
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
