D3 body, D1 cock
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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