Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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