I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
