Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
