I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
