Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
