so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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