You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i wish my penis had a tongue
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
