We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Apparently you make a good broom.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
