I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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