I got chris browned last night
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
its liver damage thursday
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
