also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
