i can't believe i had my finger in that
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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