my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
