I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Everclear isn't food dammit
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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