1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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