woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
