I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
