Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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