I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
