I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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