Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
