I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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