READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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