Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize