Please, let me fuck your mom
well I can't set my house on fire every night
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
