just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
