how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
