Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
