And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
