Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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