He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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